The Curious Solution
 to
 Anxiety Attacks
 by: Hankster

© 2022 by the author

The author retains all rights. No reproductions are allowed without the author's consent. Comments are appreciated at...

hankster@tickiestories.us

Roger Kaline is a very high strung high school senior.  He worries about everyone and everything, and is subject to frequent anxiety attacks.  Just today his math teacher hit the class with a surprise test.  Roger’s favorite subject is math.  When he finished the test, he was certain that he failed it badly.  He was to find out, when he got the test results, that he aced it.

Believing he had flunked his best subject, he began to have another anxiety attack.  He handed in his test paper, but he couldn’t go to his final class of the day, American History.  He loved his history class, but he couldn’t breathe.  Although it was only 2 PM, he ran home, and locked himself in the house.  His breathing was not normalizing, and he began to pace the kitchen floor, trying desperately to catch his breath.  He was certain he would die before his dad got home. 

Roger had successfully hidden his frequent anxiety attacks from his dad, Leo.  Now he feared he’d have to reveal his condition.  He shuddered when he realized he would finally have to tell him why the attacks started in the first place.  He had the first attack when he was fifteen.  It occurred ten seconds after he could finally admit to himself that he was gay.  He couldn’t face the truth, and he knew it would never change.  

He became aware that the current anxiety attack was not abating.  It was lasting much longer than previous attacks.  His father would find him suffering, and he’d have to come out at last.  Roger wasn’t certain if he was scared stiff or relieved to get it over with.

His father always came home about 6 PM, and today was no exception.  Roger was always home by 4 PM, and he took it upon himself to prepare dinner for him and his dad.  Today, he found it impossible to do.  He just plain couldn’t breathe, and he didn’t have enough strength for any kind of activity.

That’s how his father found him, pacing the floor and trying desperately to fill his lungs with air.  Leo Kaline had not previously known about his son’s bouts with anxiety.  He doted on the boy, and if Roger had confided in him, he would certainly have sought medical help. 

Leo lost his wife to cancer three years earlier, when Roger was fourteen.  He was not looking for another romantic involvement, preferring to shower all his attention on his son, his only child.  It helped him get through the grieving process.  Fortunately, he had a nine to five job, and was always around to see to all his son’s needs.  He was head of the accounting department for an east coast retail food chain.  The only time he had to work overtime was several years ago, when his company launched an on-line shopping service.  His wife was alive then, and he had no need to worry about Roger.

“What’s wrong?” Leo yelled at his son.  “Are you sick?  I’ll take you to a walk-in clinic or the ER.”

Roger shook his head and tried to talk, but he was still trying to get air into his lungs.  He was hyperventilating badly.

“Take deep breaths and exhale very slowly,” Leo advised, and Roger did just that.  After a few deep breaths, he was able to talk a little, but he didn’t.  He just didn’t know how to explain his emotions to his dad.  It was Leo who figured out what was happening to his son.

“Listen, Rog,” he said, “you’re having an anxiety attack.  It’s very common.  I’m not a stranger to those bastards myself.  Just keep taking deep breaths, and alternate them with short, staccato like breaths.”

Roger obeyed his father and the attack began to wane at last.  It was the longest attack the boy had ever suffered.  In spite of the fact that the attack was going away, Roger’s anxiety remained strong.  He kept taking deep breaths, and alternately, very short ones.  After a while, he was recovered enough to apologize for not having dinner ready.

“That’s no big deal,” Leo said.  “I’m more interested in how you feel.  We can go out for dinner.”

‘I can breathe again, Dad.  I’ll be just fine until next time.”

“What do you mean until next time?  Do you have these attacks often?”

“A couple of times a month,” Roger admitted.

“Why didn’t you tell me?  I could have helped.  I suffered from anxiety myself when I was a teenager, and into my early twenties.  The anxiety attacks didn’t stop until I met your mother.”

Roger was shocked to hear that.  “Please,” he pleaded, “tell me why you got them, and how mom helped you get over them.  I need to know.  Maybe that will help me after all.”

“I had hoped never to have to tell you my terrible secret, but you’re almost eighteen.  I think you can handle it now.  Tell you what, let’s go to dinner.  When we come home, we’ll get comfortable, and I will literally bare my soul.  Tomorrow is Saturday.  We can talk all night if it’s necessary.”

“That’s fine,” Roger said, “but promise you won’t back down.  You’ll tell me all about it. won’t you?  It’s important to me.”

“Of course.  I promise.  More importantly, I’ll tell you what to do to stop the attacks.  It worked for me, and I hope it will work for you.”

“That’s great,” Roger said.  “Let’s go to dinner.  The faster we do, the faster we can get home to have our talk.”

*****

When Roger’s dad, Leo, was in the first grade, a new kid, Mario Costa, transferred into his class just after Christmas.  Leo and Mario became the closest of friends.  They began to play sex games together when they were only eleven years old.  They started out as most boys do, just fondling each other and jerking off together.  Of course, the natural progression continued.  It advanced to oral and anal sex.  In all fairness to both boys, neither of them thought for a second that they might be gay.  In fact, they didn’t think of it at all, because they had no idea what being gay meant.  What they did together was just a game they played, until they were old enough to enjoy ‘the real thing.’

By the time they were thirteen, Mario seemed less inclined to want to play.  He started making excuses to avoid even being with Leo.  In fact, he began to run around with a crowd of kids, who Leo always considered to be hoodlums.  He always had an excuse to avoid being with Leo.  Leo was hurt, and unfortunately, he never saw the handwriting on the wall.

Finally, when he was fourteen, Leo got the picture.  Mario was straight, and he was avoiding him because he suspected that Leo was gay.  Immediately, Leo began to take girls on teen-age dates; the movies, roller skating, hanging out at the mall, etc.  It didn’t win Mario back, but it made Leo realize his destiny.  The girls made him very uncomfortable.  By the time he was fifteen, he faced the fact that he was gay.  He may have faced that fact, but he couldn’t face the future, and the difficulty that being gay would cause him.  Then there was the problem of coming out to his doting parents.  When that became clear to him, he had an anxiety attack.  It was the first of many.

Just after his sixteenth birthday, Leo met Kyle Pearson.  They were in the same chemistry class, and were assigned to be partners on a lab experiment.  While their work on the experiment was still in the embryo stage, Kyle invited Leo to come over to his house after school one day to work on a plan to complete the project successfully.

Leo had just gotten his driver’s license, and his mother let him borrow her car.  When Leo arrived, Kyle informed him that his folks were CPAs and they worked together.  They had a business dinner meeting that day, and would not be home until 10 PM.  He also let Leo know that he was an only child.

“When I told them that you were coming over, they gave me money for both of us to have dinner out.,” Kyle said.  “Let’s go to the food court at the mall.”

“You’ll get no argument from me,” Leo said.

“Look,” Kyle said, “we can discuss our project later at the mall, but for now how’d you like to play with me until dinner time.”

Leo and Mario used to refer to their secret activity as playing with each other.  There was no doubt in his mind what Kyle meant.  He wanted ‘to play’ even more than Kyle did, but something terrible happened to him.  He realized that he was about to enter into a full-blown, adult, homosexual session.  His old fears of the future made him feel like he was drowning, and he began to hyperventilate.  He couldn’t breathe as he began to experience one of his frequent anxiety attacks.

*****

It had happened to Kyle once and he knew the symptoms.  He was twelve at the time, and he asked his thirteen year old cousin ‘to play’ with him.  His cousin pushed him away and called him a fucking faggot and a queer.  He had never heard those words before, but there was no doubt, they were derogatory, and his cousin was being very mean to him.

“Don’t ever come near me again,” his cousin hissed at him, “or I’ll tell the whole family.” 

As he stared after his cousin, Kyle had his first and only anxiety attack.  He locked himself in his bathroom, and began to jerk off.  Miraculously, he was able to breathe again.  He never had another attack because unlike Leo, and a generation later, his son Roger, Kyle accepted what fate had handed him.

*****

“You’re having an anxiety attack,” Kyle yelled at Leo. “Take out your cock and start whacking off.  It’ll go away.  I promise you.”

Leo had no trouble exposing himself to Kyle.  He began to masturbate right there in the living room, but he couldn’t get hard, and his breathing was becoming more labored.

“Here, let me help you with that,” Kyle said, and he took over the job of stroking Leo’s cock.  In just a few seconds, Leo was as hard as a rock.  His breathing was getting easier until it was almost normal, and he felt an orgasm developing in his groin.

“I’m cumming,” he yelled at Kyle.

Kyle already knew.  He stopped stroking Leo, and instead, he went down on him.  He brought him to glory very quickly.

Leo could breathe now, and he began to sob and laugh at the same time.  “That was wonderful,” he said.  “Let’s go to your bedroom and I’ll do you one better.”

Not only did Leo suck Kyle’s cock, he let Kyle fuck him.  They didn’t use protection, but they applied lubricant generously.  Their ‘affair’ didn’t last long.  Kyle’s father was promoted and transferred to a distant city.  Kyle was gone at the end of the school year.

As wonderful as sex had been with Kyle, every time Leo realized that he might have to lead a gay life, he started to have an anxiety attack.  When that happened, he immediately began to jack off, and miraculously he was able to abort the attack.  Jacking off seemed to be a miracle cure.

In college, he met a pretty young coed named Cindi Morrison.  He started to date her, even though he was convinced he could never fuck her.  Never say never.  On their third date, Cindi seduced him.  She got him so hot, he was able to perform admirably.  Poor Leo made the same mistake thousands of men before him, and after him, have made.  He believed that he was ‘cured.’  He had sex with Cindi often after that, and they eventually married.

His desire to be with men never left him, but now that he was married, he didn’t have to face a future of being gay, and his attacks stopped.  Anyway, he didn’t have to jerk off anymore either.  Cindi took good care of that.

After she died, Leo made a decision.  On Roger’s eighteenth birthday, he was going to come out, and live the life he had always dreamed of.  He wasn’t afraid anymore, so he didn’t get anxiety attacks anymore.

*****

Leo and Roger returned to their house after dinner, and immediately ran to their bedrooms.  They both stripped and put on their PJs.  Then they went back to the living room.  Roger sat on the couch, leaving the recliner for his dad.  It’s where Leo always sat, but Leo surprised him.  He sat down next to Roger on the sofa, and took his son’s hand.

“I’ve got something to tell you,” Leo said, “and promise me you won’t freak out.”

“I’ll try not to,” Roger said, “but I can’t promise until I know what it is you have to tell me.”

Leo held Roger’s hand tighter.  Father and son had never been that intimate, and Roger gloried in it.  Leo had never imagined that holding his son’s hand would arouse him so much.  Even though he was getting hard, he didn’t let go.  Because they were seated, Leo didn’t realize that when he took Roger’s hand, Roger erected also.  It could have been a very awkward moment, but neither realized that the other was hard, so it wasn’t awkward at all.  It came down to a show of affection between father and son.

They sat silently for a few minutes.  Leo was still afraid to tell Roger that he was gay, and how his gay friend, Kyle, helped him get over the anxiety attacks which had plagued him.  He was especially afraid to tell his son that his mother seduced him, and they had lots of sex before marriage.  He shook when he realized that it was time to tell Roger that he wanted to come out, and live the gay life he had been so afraid of.  He needed to make it perfectly clear that he wasn’t afraid anymore, and Roger would just have to deal with it.

Leo asked Roger not to interrupt until he finished relating his story, and Roger promised that he wouldn’t.  Leo took a deep breath, and began his narrative.  He told his son about Mario, about Kyle, and about Kyle’s miracle cure to his anxiety attacks.  He admitted that the attacks were triggered by his fear of being gay.  He kept to himself the fact that Roger’s mother had seduced him.  He just said that they fell in love.  Roger couldn’t have interrupted if he tried.  He was too shocked to say anything. 

When Leo was finished purging himself of years of what he perceived as being shameful, he said, “That’s it Roger.  You can say something now.”

Roger began to sob and he held Leo’s hand tighter.  The shock of finding out that his father was gay, triggered another anxiety attack.  He couldn’t breathe, so he freed his cock from his PJ bottom, and started to stroke it, as Leo had described during his narrative.  Leo had advised Roger that masturbating would stop the attacks, and the son was about to test the theory.

“I’ll do that for you,” Leo said.  “It worked for me when Kyle did it to me, and I pray it will work for you.”

Actually, Roger’s attack began to wane immediately, but Leo didn’t stop stroking until Roger shot a load all over himself and Leo.  Leo shocked his son by eating the cum on his hand.”

Leo kissed his son on the lips and said, “You’d better get out of your wet PJs and throw them in the hamper,” Leo advised.

Roger got naked but he simply threw the soiled PJs on the floor and hunkered up to his father.  “Dad,” he said in a whisper, “my anxiety attacks started for the same reason as yours.  Thank you for telling me how to stop them.”

“You’re gay?” Leo sputtered.  “I never would have guessed.”

“I was also a virgin until a minute ago.  Please, Dad, get undressed and let me do that to you.  I love you so much.”

Leo didn’t hesitate.  He hadn’t been intimate or had sex with anyone, male or female, since his wife died, and for a year before that.  She had just been too sick to make love with him.  He stripped quickly and sat next to his son, so that Roger could easily reach his cock.  It was a replica of his.  Roger didn’t know how big it was when it was soft, but right now it was seven throbbing inches of cut beauty.  Roger was ecstatic as he began to stroke his father’s cock.  Leo began to cum almost immediately after Roger put his cock in his hand, and Roger threw caution to the wind.  He knew that his father was beyond the point of no return, so he bent over and took his father’s cock into his mouth, just as Kyle had so many years ago.  Leo was too far gone to stop him, and he came full blast into Roger’s throat.  Unlike his father, Roger was able to swallow Leo’s entire load.

They sat quietly holding each other tightly, and then they brought their lips together.  They no longer gave themselves a father-son peck on the cheek or forehead.  The son’s tongue tickled the father’s in sensuous rapture.

Finally Roger spoke.  “I hope you aren’t grossed out, Dad, because this is the happiest night of my life.  I’m not a virgin anymore, and I want to thank you.”

“I’m not grossed out at all,” Leo assured his son.  “Do you know how long I have repressed myself?  Listen to me.  We’re both going to come out.  I want you to live a happy and fulfilling life.  I’ve never been happy since Kyle moved away, and our relationship was cut short. You just made me very happy.”

Leo kissed Roger on the lips again, and Roger asked, “Can I sleep with you tonight, Dad?”

“Yes you may,” Leo said, subtly correcting Roger’s grammar.  “I want you to sleep with me until the end of days.  When you turn eighteen, we’ll celebrate in a gay bar.  We have a different relationship now.  We’re brothers also.”

“And best friends,” Roger added.

They didn’t realize it at the moment, but they had just made a life time commitment.  They became lovers from that night on.  Later that evening they advanced to making full blown homosexual love, and neither was reticent, nor hesitant to do so. They sucked and fucked until morning, and all weekend long.  On Monday morning, Leo called in sick, and Roger played hooky.  They stayed in bed all day, and not only did they make love, they made very kinky love.  Roger didn’t learn until Tuesday that he had aced the exam which he thought he failed, and which brought on his anxiety attack.  It made him realize how foolish he had been.

They were happy at last.  Roger calmed down and was not at all high strung anymore.  His anxiety attacks ceased to exist, but he still enjoyed himself when Leo jerked him off.

As for Leo, he felt like he had been released from solitary confinement in some dungeon prison.

It was very tough on them, but they were separated during the years Roger went to college and then law school.  But that all came to an end.  Roger joined a prestigious law firm, and the only thing that ever separated them again was an occasional out of town business trip.

If being secretly gay hadn’t caused both father and son to have anxiety attacks, they might never have come out to each other, and that would have been a heartbreaking disaster.

Posted: 08/26/2022